My Focus - Olivia Cullip

I’ve had four concussions in my life. I’m 19-years-old, from Truro Nova Scotia.

I’ve won a provincial high school volleyball championship.
I study Chemical Engineering at the University of New Brunswick.

Those are two great challenges that have not taxed me emotionally the way a concussion did.

I remember my first vividly.

It happened during a soccer game, in early July. I was dealing with a knee injury which should have prevented me from playing. A short bench that day changed that, I was needed. I entered the game.

When the pain became too much, I came out of the game. A teammate was then injured, my number was called, back onto the field I went.

Bad can turn to worse with the strike of a ball. I took a shot from the opposing teams star player directly to my head. I was struck in the eye, and my day went dark. I could not see.

Straight to the hospital. Diagnosis, a bruised retina and bleeding inside my eye. Weeks of bed rest was needed, if the bleeding continued it could lead to permanent loss of vision.

My eye eventually healed. Headaches persisted. Back to the doctor where they told me I had suffered a concussion.

This diagnosis ended my chance to play volleyball with the provincial team that year, and ended my soccer season.

When I returned to school that fall, I was cleared to participate in Volleyball. Tried out for my High School team (Cobequid Educational Centre) and made it. The fast pace of our practices brought the return of my headaches, a few more weeks of rest were needed, and then I resumed playing.

It was not long before my luck ran out again. Struck by a ball during warm up. Another head blow.

A two-week recovery for what was considered a minor concussion, and I was back playing.

Later that season, my 3rd concussion. While diving for a ball at practice I dove to the side for a ball and smashed my head against the floor.

I had always heard during my playing career, “Three concussions and you’re out”

Months of built up frustration from sitting out, the concussions reoccurring and my fear of never playing again left me with what I thought was my only choice.

I lied.

I told everyone that I was fine. My headaches now got worse, day over day. Daily life was now a challenge. I continued to play with a concussion and was very fortunate not to have a serious injury become even more threatening. I thought it was no big deal to play with a concussion. I was wrong.

I stopped playing soccer, fearing another concussion.
The following year I was concussion free, and my symptoms had subsided. Mid-November of my senior year playing High School volleyball. My 4th concussion.

A collision with a teammate resulted in her knee colliding with my head. The blow knocked me to the ground. When I tried to shake it off and stand up straight, I collapsed.

My coach sent me to the hospital where they confirmed I did in fact suffer my 4th concussion.

My first concussion was the most severe. But with each additional concussion, the experience became more challenging.

After graduating high school, I decided not to pursue volleyball at the varsity level at the University of New Brunswick. I told my family that I wanted to tryout, their first response was, “with all those concussions?”

Concussions ended that dream.

As a competitor. I regret that.

An entire summer in bed, constantly sitting out, missing activities with my friends, interrupted sleep all led to my frustration in dealing with these concussions. When I reflect now, I rushed my recoveries, because of that frustration.

I didn’t recognize the seriousness of these injuries at the time.

This was my personal struggle. Despite my frustration, I had terrific support around me. My coaches, Bob Piers, Carrie Peck and Hilary Cormier were always supportive and kind. My best friend Janine, who did not leave my side for much of my recoveries.

Concussions aren’t like broken bones. They don’t always present themselves as an obvious injury.

What is obvious, is the lasting impact they can have on you, not only physically, but emotionally too.

Concussions may have taken away my opportunity to play university volleyball, but they didn’t take my love for the sport.